david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.