Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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