Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What changed your mind?
Being sober
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
