Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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