This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
