The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
