she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
