dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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