I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
