Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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