Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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