she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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