I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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