It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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