my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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