Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
