I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
