why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
