Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
