For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
