Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
