I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
birth control should be required to get into college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize