dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
we're so committed to being not committed
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
