i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
