I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
