am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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