She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
