I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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