ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
