she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
