You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
