We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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