I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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