I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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