R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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