the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
God, you're like boner-b-gone
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
