Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
