Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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