I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize