If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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