the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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