I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Are we still banned from the library?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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