My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
