oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize