Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
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She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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