Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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