Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
