He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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