where am i from again
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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