can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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