I can tuck mytits in my pants
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
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My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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