I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
