Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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