yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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