This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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