Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
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It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
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I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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