there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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